Afghanistan and Canada

Lately, I've been trying to figure out what I think about our soldiers in Afghanistan. I hate fighting, killing etc. as I'm sure all Canadians do. Then I realized though that the Taliban has been blowing up schools (obviously I'm biased in that direction) that Canada and other nations have been building. How can you negotiate with these groups and then how is it enough to only build up schools and infrastructure if others are just going to blow them up?

I had a nice, little chat with one of my favourite friends, a Mr. Darren Fleet. He challenged me that if the Canadian government actually did pour more amounts of money into the country (as nations did to Germany after WWII to see it rebuilt), the people of Afghanistan would be theoretically contented and not need to join and back groups like the Taliban. It would take a lot of money though. Where's all that money gonna come from? and am I willing to be one of those who lays down my comforts to raise others out of poverty? Something to think about.

Free me from pretense

I just finished reading AW Towzer's The Pursuit of God and am absolutely amazed by his deep insights into the heart of man especially around pride and how hard we work to protect it.

He talks about meekness and says "The meek man cares not at all who is greater than he, for he has long ago decided that the esteem of the world is not worth the effort. " He describes a "sense of humor" that the meek person has learned to say, "Oh, so you have been overlooked? They have placed someone else before you? They have whispered that you are pretty small stuff after all? And now you feel hurt because the world is saying about you the very things you havee been saying about yourself? Only yesterday you were telling God that you were nothing, a mere worm of the dust. Where is your consistency? Come on, humble yourself, and cease to care what men think." Then we can rest in God and let Him defend us. Wow! Does that go against the pride or what? But talk about freedom.

Then he attacks our pretense-our continual desire to put our "best foot forward and hide from our inward world of poverty." He describes the fear we so often have of being found out- perhaps the fear of not being as smart as we appear, as spiritual as we appear or the fear of meeting someone who is better than us in whatever gift we might think we have. He goes on to say the only solution is to become like little children. Little kids are happy with what they have without relating it to something or someone else, unafraid of what others think of them.

God's been really knocking me with this, because as a teacher I try to appear to other teachers that I am fully competent/got it all under control when really I have soooo much to learn. I think even with friends we try to appear in control, but we desperately need each other and we can't allow our fear of "being found out" keep up those walls that separate us from loving each other.

Here's a little prayer that goes with it: Lord, make me childlike. Delver me from the urge to compete with another for place or prestige or position. I would be simple and artless as a little child. Deliver me from pose and pretense. Forgive me for thinking of myself. Help me to forget myself and find my true peace in beholding You. Lay upon me Your easy yoke of self-forgetfulness that through it I may find rest. Amen.

A break: longer anyone?

Here's my house that's been blown by the wind in the biggest snow storm for a November in a very, very long time.
Today I've realized how very lazy I can be. I really don't want to go to school tomorrow. I'd much rather stay home and read quietly, do some art, play some music for the rest of the week. I think my real reason is that sometimes I really am afraid of substitute teaching. I never know what classroom I'm gonna end up in. It's hard to always have to take charge over new students (or any students for that matter). I think I'm just far too "kind" for my own good. Grrrrr.... I can be tough. Oh yes, I can. Well, at least no one can accuse me of being a workaholic. That's a good thing.
All I can say is thank you for a warm house with warm food. I always enjoy a good break.

Pro-life: for my sistuhs

Yeah, I'm pro-life and "feminist." I heard a great definition for feminist before: One who believes woman should be first recognized as human beings and then by their female gender. Yup, I'm one of those. The words on the shirt say a feminist is "powerful, compassionate, and a balanced woman" Good words to describe who I'd like to become. What woman doesn't want to and need to feel like she is powerful in life, lives compassionately and balanced (now there is the challenging one for me). The "compassionate" word is the one I think feminists need to think about even when it refers to their unwanted babies.

I'm kind of one of those quieter pro-lifers. I believe that taking the life of a child in their mother's womb is wrong, but I rarely do anything to speak out about this belief. My sister is the vocal one on this topic. I generally don't like talking about topics that might separate me from people I love and care for. Today I was reading in my Bible about Jesus' birth and how Herod, the king of the time, had all the baby boys in Bethlehem under 2 killed. He was jealous of the new "King of the Jews" (Jesus) and wanted to have him destroyed at all cost. Let's just say I got challenged. I was so disturbed about this story. How awful! What a massacre! It made me sick. Suddenly, though, I realized in our nation the same thing has been happening for quite some time through abortion. How could I be so angry about one and not the other? I realized for me it's because abortion is out of my sight, out of my life. I don't have to deal with it on any kind of regular basis.

I want to be one who protects "little ones" (fetus), but also (and perhaps even more) one who fights for young (or old) mothers who have to deal with devastating circumstances around "unwanted pregancy," "negligent fathers" "family disapproval"etc. Sistuhs, we gotta think twice before we let any boy take sex from us. It's just not worth taking that risk for ourselves or our children.

I'll have to write more sometime soon.

Keep on dancing

So I've been taking some dancing classes lately-trying to become the "dancing queen. " I've been paying the price for it too. I've had a pinched nerve in my right leg for about three weeks now, basically limping everywhere I go and feeling like an elderly woman.

So I've asked God why? I just wanna have fun with it and get good at something I've always liked to do. I think I've come to realize I actually wanna get good at dance, so people will look at me and be like "Wow, she's good!" (Kinda sick, but I'm sure if you look kind of deep in yourself, you'll find some of the same pride).

I've also finally noticed God likes to keep me humble, because it keeps me looking at Him. He is a whole lot more interesting than me. Most people don't recognize that dance is God's idea. He loves it. There is actually a verse in Zephaniah 3:17 that says "God will rejoice over us with singing. " That word rejoice in the Hebrew actually means to "spin around" and "dance with intense, even violent motion." Please don't tell me my God is boring, because I will not believe you.

If God wants to send some supernatural grace on my body to help me dance (not only have I been in pain, but I do tend towards downright clumsiness) that would be absolutely wonderful. If not, I'm gonna keep on dancing like those ladies shaking their barn skirts around and teaching Grade 3's how to do that, cos it just brings joy

I love dance from different countries. The pictures show some dancers from China (in the Green) and Kazakhstan (in the pink). [I haven't seen the movie Borat, but I must say Kazakhstan does win the prize in my mind for having beautiful dancing ladies and costumes].

Comments on Nov. 11 continued

Seems to me, most people like the justice aspect of God's nature (Psalm 72- He shall spare the poor and needy etc) especially my left wing friends(whom I love and believe in very much). It is a whole lot more difficult to accept that God has some moral standards that He expects us to follow. What we fail to see is that our free choice (which our Father God has given us) to follow whatever moral code we like may actually be very detrimental to our families, societiety and nation. Drugs, STDS, divorce, prostitution, pornography are just a few of the social problems that have plagued us as we have chosen actions far from God.

We seem to believe that if we would come to God, He would take away all our fun and put us in some legalistic straight jacket. That deeply saddens me, because the idea is so prevalent. God does call us to a higher level, but only because He wants the very best for us. We are like spoilt children who want everything (especially sex) right away.

I can't help but comment that some have a hard time with me calling God a He, and to be honest I do understand. Humans-male and female, however, are created in the image of God, to me that means God must have what we have deemed "feminine qualities" as well as masculine qualities. God is not some masculine, chauvinistic, patriarchal God. Human religion has done this to how we approach and see God. I believe we call God "He" because it is a metaphor/picture for God's love for us people. He calls us His bride and He is the bridegroom. There's supposed to be such a high level of intimacy and love between the Creator and people that it's like a husband and wife. Have we messed up that picture or what (no wonder God gets upset with our sexual immorality- we're messing with his most beautiful picture)? Could you imagine if men and women would get this picture right? God calls men to love women just like Jesus did. Jesus laid down His entire life and bled for people. That's love. And all I know is, as a woman I would have no problem respecting and loving a husband in whatever way he needed if he acted like Jesus Christ. If both spouses lived and loved like this we would have some unbelievable, lasting marriages!

Comments on Nov. 11

I know Remembrance Day is weeks past, but something has struck me which I just have to speak out about. This year was the first year I went to an acutal Remembrance Day Ceremony. I have wanted to go for many years , but it just hadn't worked out. This year I went with my grandma, Uncle Jim and his lovely girlfriend Kate. I really did not know what to expect. We arrived a little late and was pleasantly surprised by the first song a Christian hymn "Abide with Me." It is a beautiful song calling for God to stay alongside us through all the trials and hardships of life. How very fitting when you talk about how war veterans have endured much suffering and pain.

Seems to me, we like to include God only when we are very desperate for help. I rejoice that we recognize Him in our suffering, but it seems very hypocritical to me that outside of these trials we ignore Him, mock Him, reject Him. We blame God for the evil in this world and then don't take the time to listen to how He might want to help us. Honestly, I feel sorry for God. We treat Him like our Sugar Daddy, our very final "person" to call for help.

Recently, I heard that Australia made a very bold declaration that God will be a part of their country and their government. They, like Canada, have a very multicultural society, but they have chosen to not let "political correctness" dictate what they will allow in their nation. God has been and always will be a vital part of our country Canada. From its conception in 1867, founding fathers such as Sir Leonard Tilley declared "He [meaning God] shall have dominion from sea to sea" from the Bible in Psalm 72:8. That's why Canada is called the Dominion of Canada.

If you read the rest of the chapter you will find how God would affect our nation. "He shall judge the people with righteousness (true morality) and your poor with justice. The mountains shall bring peace to the people... He shall judge the poor of the people, he shall save the children of the needy, and shall break in pieces the oppressor.. in His days those who live honestly shall flourish and abundance of peace so long as the moon endures... for he shall deliver the needy when he cries, the poor also, and him that has no helper. He shall spare the poor and needy, and shall save the souls of the needy. He shall redeem their soul from deceit and violence: and precious shall their blood be in His sight."

I'm sure we could all agree we need more of this justice in our nation (and the nations of the earth). To be continued.

First time teaching dance

This week I got to teach a dance class for my very first time! It was Grade 3, so it didn't have to be some highly "technical" dance, which was just fine with me. We played a mirroring game, a shape game where you have to hold a shape for 20 seconds after I stop the music, and then finally the students' favourite "freeze dance." Students get to dance around the very bright studio until I stop the music. When I stop it, they must freeze. If they're the last one dancing-they are out! It was so fun to watch super talented, dance genius kids dancing around with some gooood attitude. Breakdancers, ballerinas, hip hoppers-good times.

Love is Coming

Here's a little rhyme in response to how young girls are treated all around the world, but in particular some African countries where women are sometimes raped by men who know they have AIDS, basically handing them a death threat. I couldn't stand by quiet, so here goes.
Please know my intention is not to stir up anger and hatred against men, because there are many amazing men in this world. I only desire to give these women a voice, which has been taken away from them. My Jesus is interceding on their behalf right now and I intend to join him. Look out enemies of love (the pure kind), your time is very, very short. Love is coming!

I ain’t just a body,
I ain’t just a thing
I’m a woman who’s alive and I’m gonna sing
I’m a woman with a mind
I’m a woman with a heart
I’m a woman with a soul and I’m gonna let it go
My rhyme it’s comin’ at you fast and strong
Bringin’ out the juices singing my song
You stop! You’re preying on me, layin’ on me, slayin’ on me
Cos I command respect, reprimand, defect out of your arms
Cos I’m gonna live, I’m gonna give but not to you
Cos I hear the sound love is comin’
I hear the sound love is comin’.

Uganda orphans

So, it's almost 3 am and I am ready to go to sleep. The snow outside has made my home undeniably frigid ie. freezing. I finally turned on the heat, even though we usually don't do that at night. I can't help but think about children in Uganda and many other countries living out on the streets with no parents to give them a warm house, food etc, and I finally recognize I can handle one night of cold (but man, my body's not used to this coldness).

On Saturday December 2nd we are having a Fun Fair fundraiser to raise money for orphans in Northern Uganda (the area where the Lord's Resistance Army has been recruiting child soldiers). These children are being given a home and refuge at the Uganda Jesus Village. The people in charge of the Village are also seeking to put these children into already up and running villages and families, which I think is important in order to readjust the children back into their own society rather than trying to adjust them to our "white," "Caucasian" orphanages and society.

At the Fun Fair there will be a silent auction, open mike (yipee-I'm hoping to play a few tunes), cake walk (win a free cake-delicious), and games for kids. C'mon out and check it out at 1pm. It's gonna be held at Global Harvest in Abbotsford BC.

Fun in the Classroom

This week I stepped out in faith into some new grades. I love Kindergarten to Grade 4/5ish. I feel kind of safe. Kids are usually pretty nice and still not full of attitude. This week I went to Eugene Reimer Middle School- a Grade 8 French classroom. Oh my! I was frightened went I got the call, but then thought hey, what can a bunch of 13 year olds do in one afternoon (didn't even have to deal with them for the whole day).

I couldn't use my trusty clapping rhythm sequence that Grade 2 students do back for me. My usual 1,2,3 eyes on me sounded childish as a way to get their attention. So I just said "Excuse me....Listen up, please." They were working on rhymes/ raps using the French verb "aller" meaning "to go." They used the "Barney" theme song, "I'm a Little Teapot" and other interesting songs. The students got a little excited. After they were done, they asked me to play a song on the guitar which I did and then they asked if I knew how to rap. I got to rap my "Maybe I'm just a little white girl" rap for them and the Grade 8 boys really liked it. That made me feel pretty dang cool. Thank you, Father God.

My Canadian Roots

Today I had the day off from school and was able to go to the Bible school. Yeah! We were praying for Canada, and God was speaking to me about my Canadian roots. Many times I am excited about other countries (such as places in Africa) that I forget about Canada. Maybe it's because I don't really think we have a "culture." While praying though I realized we have such a rich culture. Where else do you find both French and English cultures, First Nations cultures, and immigrants' cultures from all around the world? I also realized that I know almost nothing about the French culture. As a true Canadian, I think it's important to know even a little about the different cultures that make up our nation. I believe that God will use Canadian "multiculturalism" to take down walls between people groups.

Last week too I was at North Poplar, the fine arts school in Abbotsford and a popular Canadian musician (Michael Mitchell) was singing songs about Canada. His album was called "Canada is For Kids." I appreciated his songs. They had very much an East Coast feel with lots of fiddle sounds. I want to go to Newfoundland now and learn to play that kind of music. It's great stuff.

Beginnings of a testimony

So, I've been really asking God what is my testimony? What's the story you want me to share with the world? What does my life speak after 20 years of being in His family? I think some things are finally getting clear. About time eh?

I think God spoke three words to me. "Intensely personal relationship" with Him- the Uncreated One. He sees my whole life- every time I feel guilt about eating too much cake, every time I feel lust towards a guy, every time jealousy jerks at my heart when someone sings better than me. Every time I let fear rule me rather than trust in Him, every time I'm incapable of loving my brother or sister. He sees it all and loves me still.

It could be kind of freaky to think God sees it all, but then again it could be freeing. We do not have to hide in shame anymore. He already knows it all (old news). He just wants us to come into the light and confess we need help, which we really, really do.

Lately I just can't get away from the thought that My Father loves me with the same love (same intensity) that He loves His absolutely perfect Son, Jesus. He wants me to succeed and to become more like Jesus.

Ryan and Sophia

I've realized I don't have any pictures of my sister or her husband Ryan on my blog, so here they are with my mom and dad at Steve and Leah's wedding.

My Family

Here's the people who put up with me day in and day out. Where would I be without my family?!!! I think I've finally come to realize how little I really appreciate all that they have done for me. Thank you, mom, dad, Miguel.

Surrendered!

This is moi at Bridal Falls. This is a picture to me of Freedom-totally at peace, totally surrendered to Life and Love. That's where I wanna be.

Thanks, brother Michael for the idea for the photo.

Jesus Camp

You gotta check out this website. http://www.kidsinministry.com/. There's apparently a new movie out about a "Jesus Camp" in the USA where kids are being trained as young evangelists, preachers etc. They're raising quite an uproar, because some people are calling it brainwashing. The children's leaders sometimes talk about that we are in a war- a spiritual war obviously, but some people are trying to compare it with raising up terrorists. -definitely worth checking out about.

The children are meeting with the Holy Spirit. I know that is what kept me in church. I met with the power of God and I could never turn my back on God, cos He's real.

The Search For Identity continues

So, I'm 25, a fully certified teacher. I could just settle down and be a regular adult. Look the part- dress professionally. Why can't I do that? There's a part of me that wants to stand out in a crowd-maybe a little punkish, maybe a little like a rap star. How important is clothing for establishing who you are? or how people perceive you to be? Do I just need to grow up?

I think I've always wanted to be a little on the edge- not the stereotypical "good Christian girl"/pastor's daughter that people might presume me to be. But at the same time I don't want their opinions to alter who I truly am, who I believe I was created to be. Part of the reason why I cut my hair shorter is cos it makes me feel a little "tougher"/maybe masculine is the right word as long as that doesn't sound weird to you. I'm pretty soft, easy- going, compliant etc, and man that makes it hard to deal with attitude kids in the classroom or a lot of people in this world.

I think I've come to the conclusion that no matter who we are and whatever image we portray, (tough, sensual -and there's enough of those out there) we all deep inside just want to be accepted and loved for whoever and whatever we are. I am so grateful for all the wonderful friends and God family that are in my life. Thank you for accepting me.

Western Christianity Sucks!

Okay, don't think I've gone off the rocker. Just venting. I finally started reading a book called "Back to Jerusalem," a book about the house churches in China. They know how to live Christianity the way it was meant to be lived. They don't have all the material goods to get in their way of living a simple life- just loving God and people. They live the real kind of communism- not government legislated but love inspired. They get persecuted like crazy, torture, beatings you name it, but they have the real joy inside that won't die no matter what comes their way.

I felt so ashamed about how proud and arrogant I can be thinking I'm all that. but you know what I realized I think it's actually harder to be a Christian, a real Christian in North America. There are so many stupid distractions calling us every way that we can't hear the voice of the Father God. I just wanna live life the way I was born to live it under His wings, found in His truth and love.

a start on what is feminine

I just read a very interesting blog about feminism. It was great cos it was something I have been thinking about lately. What does it really mean to be a woman? I just got my hair cut much shorter than I was planning on. My parents didn't much approve of it cos well they thought it didn't look "feminine."

Yeah, I'm one of those girls who through middle/high school decided I was gonna be better than all those "preppy", "pretty" girls who wore make-up all the time. Cos hey I was better than them, deeper than them. I've come to realize though that my attitude did end up hurting me. There is a part of me (sometimes a secret, hidden part of me) that wants to feel like I'm beautiful, glorious and that it is clearly reflected on the outside. I think that's the way God made me and all girls. I never want to fall into the trap thinking that I am less of that true person that I am if I don't wear makeup (or wear my most stylin' clothes), but heh I actually think it can be a lot of fun to really get dressed up and feel absolutely the best about all that I am.

I'm not really one for high heels cos I've never been the most elegant walker even in regular flat shoes. I also just don't think they're good for a person's feet/ankles etc. The really high ones kinda remind me of how women had to wear corsettes, which were so tight (but yet so in style) that some women actually died from them. Ok maybe not the best comparison, but you get my point. Do what's good and healthy for you-not what society says you have to do.

Drama with friends

Dreams do come true. Today was rocking. I have wanted to do a drama/and or dance for ages with my friends, and it just hasn't worked out until today. Thanks to my homegirl Miss Amber Webber, we are learning a sweet, rockin' drama. Ben, you make an awesome Jesus, and the rest of you, you fit your parts so well. We are going to do our big debut performance Saturday August 12 at 2:15pm. Check it out!

Thanks to my brothuhs and sistuhs for taking the time to do this. Is it fun or what???

My running friends!

So here we are ready warriors for our trek through the mountains. Honestly, this is my dear running/walking friend Darlene and her little darling Baby Jaena (sorry if I spelled that wrong Darlene). Darlene has been such a blessing in my life as she was an elementary school teacher for ten years. She has taught me so much about teaching and also about being a mom (when that time comes for me). She is a gift from God to me.

Adventures Upon the High Seas and Race Car Driving?

We began our fine adventure on a beautiful sunny day. 4 women, one man 5 flotation devices (including Toby the floating turtle as shown in picture)to brave the frigid waters of the Vedder River. After many an adventure and only narrowly escaping dangers and certain death, we emerged unscathed (sort of). 1 flat Toby inside 1 sinking dinghy containing a very chilly Amy and Bonnie, 1 very torn, bright yellow floatie inside the only surviving water floating object containing the shivering Denise and Amber minus a pair of sandals lost downstream. Finally one flimsy, near sinking red floatie from the 1950's (it had been my grandpa's) with a very cold Kurt on it. All in all a very successful days on the high seas of Chilliwack.



At night we headed to the movie theatre to watch some real high seas advetures- Pirates of the Caribbean II. Although the consensus seems to be that the first one was better, we had our share of adventures as before the movie started we were distracted by some of our findings upon the Mission Raceway.
Denichi woman connected us with some famous people-
the ever famous (can't remember his name).






Amber would not miss up the opportunity for a picture with her all time racing hero!








Kurtis givin' the thumbs up!









Do I look excited or what? We've won the prize on having a way too fun day!

Girls Bible study group

Here's our girl's night Bible study group. Are we hot chickees or what! They are the greatest friends a girl could ever ask for. I love you, ladies!





Yeah, my friends are tough and very cool. Look out! They could be coming after you.

Parents Gone

So my parents are gone for the month and I am the woman in charge. I get to do all the cleaning, cooking, watering the plants etc. etc. I'm just thinking wow there's a lot of work that my parents do!

Seems like with them gone my values or should I say values I've grown up with get tested. I know I'm 25 I should have it semi-worked out what I really believe and what's important to me, but it just seems like My Father God's laying everything in my life raw before Him and just covering it all in His love. Tough but good.

What do I really want to live pursuing? dreams of my own? helping fulfill other people's dreams? Having fun? a relationship with God? What should that look like for me? Hours in prayer and Bible reading? Working on a job? I guess I just gotta trust in His love. He brought me this far. He can bring me in. I trust in love.

The Times They are a Changin'

I hope Bob Dylan wouldn't mind me using his song title, but I think it's rather fitting in my life right now. It's time for an end to just dreaming about doing stuff. It's time to do the stuff! I've been dreaming about being a voice for children especially for kids in Africa and the Middle East.

I'm just a girl whose heart has been broken for long enough about children being kidnapped by the Lord's Resistance Army in Northern Uganda to be used as soldiers or sex slaves. I don't tend to get angry about much, but that sets me off. So September, yeah only one month away, I am planning a trip to Uganda to visit an orphanage where some of these children have been rescued and brought to a safe home.

Something New Coming

Here I am late at night feeling queasy in my stomach. Feel like something is going to break through tomorrow and Satan is mad. Good for him. I'm mad at him too. My kids (students at school-no, I don't have any of my own yet) belong to God and Satan's been messing with them for too long. In Jesus name I proclaim My Father's peace into my classroom, His order, His power, His obedience, and His authority. I am under Him. I will follow Him.

His grace is sufficient for Me. His strength is made perfect in my weakness.
The Lord will guide you continually. He will satisfy your soul in drought. You will be like a well-watered garden like a spring of water, whose waters do not fail.

The ungodly are not so. They are like the chaff thrown away.

Teaching adventures and rapping

What a week! With mom and dad in Trinidad on a missions trip, Michael and I have been busily cleaning, cooking and doing laundry like never before.
On the school front, life has never been so interesting, challenging, and sometimes very confusing. In one week I've dealt with sex, violence, psychological disorders. Two of my eleven year olds are currently dating and the conversation has been often coming up about "making out." Man, that scares me. I've had to phone up parents about conversations about sex while they were working out in the hallway. I don't think I've ever had to grow up so quickly.

One of my students might be gone tomorrow until the end of the year. I don't know exactly what's "wrong" with her. I just know she can be the most sweet, cheerful girl one moment, hysterically laughing the next and then fuming angry crashing and banging things the next. Doesn't quite work well in a classroom. Today i did feel like I was gonna die. I am flaming angry at the devil for all he's stolen from her family. Maybe the freedom will not come today, but I will always believe for her.

I've finally realized I have this fear about being "angry" in the classroom. I seem to have an inability to really communicate anger in a real way. I"m one of those "flower children" who always likes to see the bright side of life and "pretend" everything is fine and dandy. Not anymore something's gotta break, something new has gotta take.

My students think rappers are amazing. Well, Father God, have you got some of your own that you're dying to tell the world. I'm ready and available. Take me in.

Destroy the sickness called sin
Destroy all that stops me from entering in.
Into you, Kiss me back to life,
I'm called to be your wife, but I act nothing like you. I just sit her and stew
inside. When I really wanna change, tired of being strange, rearrange my being. Bring life.
Throw out the strife. Take out the knife. Resurrect, redirect, reconstruct,

Wanna be more direct, in your face, fill more space, cut to the chase and love
Love that is true but love that is strong like King Kong, not just ding dong Hong Kong, but long long enduring. curing the sickness called sin. You know where I been and I ain't been in many rough places my whole life through, I ain't seen others screw up their lives the ones they love. They don't know the hope. Don't know how to survive the storm, Navigate this world's system. My mission choose you, choose peace, God release,

For God did not send His son into the world to condemn the world, but that through Him the world might be saved (delivered, rescued, healed, cured).
Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.
-the Bible

Spring Break!

Today begins two weeks of very needed rest, relaxation but also planning for the last three months of school. Wow! Today I survived my very first field trip that I planned and the students fundraised for. We went indoor rock climbing and we all survived. My class was able to raise $300 out of the $390 in just two weeks. I was really proud of them.

Last weekend I got to stay at a cabin in Whistler for free, because a couple (which my family had met only once or twice at a conference) invited us to come. We did some cross-country skiing and snowshoeing. It was a great time for me to really connect with my family members after having been very busy with teaching and learning all the "new ropes" at school.

I am very grateful to be at my school. I have a mentor from whom I can always ask my many questions. Yesterday I came to the realization that in many ways I do the same job as 29 parents at least for 5.5 hours a day. No wonder it's kind of difficult for me, seeing how I've never had any of my own to date.

This week I somewhat reluctantly allowed my students to play Destiny's Child's "I'm a Survivor." I'm still working through my fears of what will other teachers think. I think, however, this could be my theme song for this year. Sometimes I feel like I am not going to survive. I have never in my life lost my voice so much (hope it's not just because I'm yelling at my class), and I've never had the flu and cold so much from being with sick kids! It's terrible!

I think I've also come to realize the power of this song. Not only are we going to survive, I'm almost positive they say they're a forgiver. I have definitely learned the power of forgiving and not holding on to my anger and frustration at the kids. I have also learned how important it is to forgive my family members, because there is continually going to be something that can separate me from them. Love has to forgive in order to survive.

My class has taught me so much about life and love and just having fun and what's really most important in life.

Some thoughts on teaching about Christianity in schools.

So I have some questions. Is it okay to teach students about Gandhi and what he believed? I think we'd say yes. What about the teachings of Jesus? Gandhi used Jesus' ideas. Are we allowed to talk about Jesus in a secular sphere from even a purely historical view?

Jesus said "Love your enemies." Can I teach my students about those teachings, if it will help them not bully each other? I'm gonna keep on seeking out answers. What will honour people with different beliefs? Should I keep my mouth shut? Or am I keeping vital truth from very trusting children?

Abortion:right and left wing fly together

So, my family tends to be more right-wing; abortion is definitely wrong, same-sex marriage etc. and I do agree. I tend to try and hear the other side as much as possible though. Many of my friends are left-wing (not sure I totally understand all the differences).

I think my critique for the right wing is that if we want to end abortion, (which I for sure want), Christians must start laying down their lives for single moms, so they will not feel like they have no choice but to get an abortion. As my friend Darren said right-wing governments have to provide more money for these women.

I remember in a human rights history course-abortion came up, and I was talking to my friends. One girl said her friend had an abortion after a condom broke. She was such a sweet girl and I really didn't know how to answer her. She seemed to feel her friend was justified in her decision. This sadness came over me for my generation. Would I have done the same if I were in her shoes? Would I care more about my university studies/career than a "fetus" (young offspring/child)?

I'm gonna be honest and say most of my life so far I've been so "me" focused. I didn't want to have my own kids, because I thought that would get in my way of becoming "great," famous, a missionary, a teacher, a social activist. I think that's what many women deal with. We want our careers, but then again we also want sex and that without kids, so a condom breaks and abortion seems to be the right answer.

I must say I am happy where I am in life. I have the freedom as a woman to learn and grow so much. Perhaps thanks to more feministic women. I don't have to feel like I have to get married. I don't have to deal with crying babies all the time. I just get to play with kids at school. Not have sex. Is that such a weird, whacked idea in our culture? Sure maybe I have curious moments about what I might be "missing," but then I see the repercussions on my friends who haven't waited for the guy they marry. You trying to tell me something God? Broken hearts. You know the story. It fills the music scene. I like my heart intact, thank you very much. I like my brain in gear. I like the direction my life is heading. I like the freedom that I can wait till my late 20's, 30's or even 40's to have kids. There is no rush my girl friends (and guys too). Wait it out. Love is not just a romantic feeling (though there is gonna be nothing wrong with it when it comes). Love is meant to be shared with everyone. So let me tell you, by saying "no" to sex at this time of your life, you are absolutely, positively not saying "No" to life, friends, fashion, and love. You are saying "yes" to yourself, "yes" to God, "yes" to freedom, and "yes" to life for children. Woah, good deal eh?

Back to the human rights history course: My other friend said if she had known all the hard work that went into a having a young son (who is now 10) she would not have kept her baby (ie. aborted him). She was only 15 when she had found out she was pregnant and had little support. Again this only reiterated for me the importance of everyone (including government) helping young mothers especially single mothers. With all my heart, I believe that the true solution is God restoring close families of loving fathers and mothers, where children are protected and taught about keeping sex for marriage (another part of real protection).

We have to see sex as a sacred, beautiful thing again. Hard to do when we see it all the time on tv. Shut the stuff off. Let's tell Hollywood we don't want it anymore.

God the Creator

Yesterday, God gave me this sweet vision of Him as the Creator, the Owner of the entire world. He really is the Lord over all the earth. And He is coming back for it, for us. He's the God of inspiration, life, joy. Do we have any idea how much we hurt God with our actions? Any idea how He feels when He sees children abused by their parents/friends etc.? Any idea how He feels when men abuse their wives? (Grrrrr. I know He gets angry). Or on the other hand, when women seduce men, often because of their deeply-rooted insecurity, that they are not complete without a man. Today on my google website this woman pops up with some massive cleavage. World, what are we trying to do to men? We are God's creation-let's honour ourselves, Him, and men.

I know I'm sort of just ranting/preaching, but I do believe children bear the brunt of our cultural obsession with violence and sex which is too often not founded in love.

Back to the Creator. What about how He feels when His exquisite creation is ravaged by greed, buldozed by greed. He will get His earth back for justice, goodness, kindness, joy, peace, and swwwweeeeeeeetttttttt love. You can count on it, and let's just say you do not want to be on the wrong end with Him.

Got the job!

Yesterday, I got the job of my dreams. Just finished my practicum in December in an Abbotsford country school in a Grade 4/5 class where the kids are amazingly well-behaved-not perfect, but probably the best class in the school. WOW! I'm back in the same class till June after my practicum teacher retired.

One of the teachers told me, "That's like winning the lottery, getting a job like you did!" I know she's right. I believe with all my heart that God has favoured and blessed my life beyond measure.

This is my thank you going out to my Father. Thank you also to all my friends, family, and staff at Ross Elementary. You absolutely rock!