So, I've been really asking God what is my testimony? What's the story you want me to share with the world? What does my life speak after 20 years of being in His family? I think some things are finally getting clear. About time eh?
I think God spoke three words to me. "Intensely personal relationship" with Him- the Uncreated One. He sees my whole life- every time I feel guilt about eating too much cake, every time I feel lust towards a guy, every time jealousy jerks at my heart when someone sings better than me. Every time I let fear rule me rather than trust in Him, every time I'm incapable of loving my brother or sister. He sees it all and loves me still.
It could be kind of freaky to think God sees it all, but then again it could be freeing. We do not have to hide in shame anymore. He already knows it all (old news). He just wants us to come into the light and confess we need help, which we really, really do.
Lately I just can't get away from the thought that My Father loves me with the same love (same intensity) that He loves His absolutely perfect Son, Jesus. He wants me to succeed and to become more like Jesus.
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