Musicians, Drugs, and Johnny Cash, and my future

My friend Darren always used to sing me Johnny Cash songs and my dearest mama always told me how great his music was, but I actually knew nothing about his life or music. Today I had the chance to watch the movie "Walk the Line" about his life story (I've been watching a lot of movies lately, which is very unusual for me- but it was worth it). A good movie. A sad movie, but one of redemption (I love that word). If you haven't seen it and are planning on seeing it, you might want to stop reading right now.

Basic premise: a boy with a natural talent for music (Johnny), a good brother dies because Johnny wasn't doing his job and the father blames Johnny for a loooong time after. Johnny Cash gets married, but realizes how difficult it is to have a music career along with a family. For me it was a personal movie. I've always wanted to do music in some form or another. Perhaps in summers go on tour (cos as a teacher I can do that). Truth is part of me just wants to forget teaching and just do music. It has always seemed so much easier to me. Watching his life and all the difficulties touring. I'm like wow, not so easy. The way alcohol and drugs stole in there, and then these crazy, screaming young girls who basically threw themselves onto him. What is up with that? Is it just that we're searching for love, girls?

My mom told me tonight not to marry a musician. You know what? I don't think I can promise that. I love musicians and I love the way that Johnny Cash could play and sing with June Carter. He should have waited to get married and married June in the first place. All I know is that if I do marry a musician (which I really hope I do-a hot African American, God-fearing, God-loving rapper) he is not trekking across the world without me for months at a time. We are gonna be a family, and I am going with him as much as possible, and there's gonna be some pretty strict boundaries around him-just cos I love him (smile).

Felt like God told me my goal for this year is: Learn to become a teacher. Right now I feel like I'd rather be told to climb Mt. Everest. At least then I'd know how more or less I'd need to train. Is that weird or what? What is it I find so difficult about teaching? I think it's having to plan lessons for 28 kids for 6 months. Their learning in my hands. They're my responsibility. I also don't like being the newbie. All the other teachers not to mention parents making sure that I'm doing enough of a good job. Kind of intimidating. Then again the principal has done nothing but say extremely positive things about me, the parents have been utterly supportive, and what teacher doesn't remember that they too once had a first year. Bite the bullet, woman and go on into the thick of the teaching battle! You are not alone!